I'm Begging You To Be My Escape

This post is going to be more or less just for venting, since I really don't know where else I can do so. I don't know if my blogs are still being imported to Facebook or not, if I see that it does get imported I'll probably delete it. Or edit the privacy settings so that only a select few can see it, at the very least. I know... What's the point of writing a blog if you don't want people to read it? Well, if you've taken the time to actually visit my blog, then by all means please read it. I just don't want random people with nothing better to do than sit on Facebook to read it. With that said, let the complaining begin...

Actually, I don't even know where to begin. Isn't that wonderful. Guess I'll just throw it all out there. Who cares really...

I've just been feeling so stinking trapped lately. And lonely. Trapped and lonely, ha. I really have no reason to be feeling either, but that doesn't change the fact that I do.
I dont know, I feel like I'm trapped in a job that I don't like. Thing is it's not a bad job. Pays good, good benefits, pretty easy. I just don't like the fact that I sit at a desk and talk on the phone all day. I don't like the fact that it limits my opportunities to do things for the Lord. And I don't like the fact that it doesn't allow me to spend much time with my friends.
Which kinda leads me to the next thing. I don't really hang out with my friends anyway, so why should I worry about my job not allowing me to?

I really have absolutely no reason to feel lonely, I have a great group of friends. and honestly I know they mean well and I know that any one of them would do anything for me (or I hope so anyway). Maybe I'm needy, maybe I'm dealing with another bout of depression, who knows. I just feel as though I'm the only one who really puts forth an effort in all of my relationships with my friends right now. It seems like Im the only one who texts or calls or who says "hey, lets do this" or "hey, lets hang out." And really its always been that way I guess. Probably always will. Let's face it, I'm kinda boring to be around. I don't really do much besides sit there. But I don't know what else to do, I need someone to teach me how to be an interesting friend I guess.

I must sound pretty pathetic right now, but I dont really care. Just being honest, but Im not gonna write anything else there's too much and I dont want to go into specifics with the entire world. Not like anyone will read it anyway. And if you are reading it, Im not sure but I might want to talk to you. Not many people would read this much absolute crap without being a pretty good friend, so call me. I'm losing it.

If you skipped all that, this pretty much sums it up:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQtnPOfId0Y&ob=av3n